Today's Moment of Awkward: My Beautiful Cervix

Going to the gynecologist is pretty much always awkward.  You're in a cold room, in a tiny dressing gown and some woman (preferable, I can't even imagine how awkward it is with a man) is fondling your breasts and poking things into your vag (yeah, I said vag).  But sometimes it's more awkward than usual.

My gynecologist came into the room, asked me the normal questions, then told me to lie down and spread my legs.

Gyno: Sorry, the implement warmer is broken in this room so this is going to be more uncomfortable than usual.  Hahaha.

Umm, maybe it's just me but that doesn't seem funny.  Is this what torture feels like?  I don't want to get too graphic here so let's just say she used the cold implements and it is, as promised, even more uncomfortable than usual.

Gyno:  On the plus side, you have a beautiful cervix.

Me:  I hear that a lot.

This she doesn't find funny.

Me: It's actually been called the Mona Lisa of cervixes.

Gyno:  Please remove your top so I can check your breasts for lumps.

Me: Yes, ma'am.


P.S.  Let's try to ignore the fact that the above picture is from a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina.