Today's Moment of Awkward: Adventures at the DMV

Taking your driver's test is a scary and awkward time for everyone.  But a lot more so when you take it in the ghetto.  I'm not sure why I chose a DMV in a bad part of town to take the test, but I can only assume it was so that I would have this experience:

I get into my dad's Ford Explorer with an early-20s DMV employee and he instantly started hitting on me.  

DMV Guy:  So... you like to party?

Seriously?  Is this an episode of To Catch a Predator?  Who straight off asks a 16-year-old girl if she likes to party?  He could have at least come up with something more original like "So... do you like to sleep with DMV employees?"

Me:  I guess...

DMV Guy:  Yeah, me too.  I LOVE to party.  Take a left here.

He went on to tell me that he'd only been working at the DMV for a few months but it was "pretty cool."  He also informed me when he got off work, in case, I don't really know why actually, in case I wanted to meet him back here?  He was pretty vague.  If you're going to hit on underage girls you really need to get your act together and come up with a specific plan.  

This whole time I was trying to concentrate on my driving.  Check rearview mirror.  Check side mirrors.  Look both ways before pulling out of the driveway.  Don't speed!  He, however, did not appear to be paying attention to my driving at all.  That is, until I came to a screeching stop.

DMV Guy:  What'd you do that for?

I pointed to the one-legged man hobbling across the middle of the street.  When he got to the other side he started to climb a chain link fence.  You'd think it would be hard to climb a fence with one leg, but this guy had it down to a science.  My mouth dropped open.  I had no words.  This was one of the strangest things I had ever seen.

DMV Guy:  Oh, yeah, that.  Happens all the time.  Turn right at the next light.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME?  IN WHAT WORLD DOES A ONE LEGGED MAN RUNNING ACROSS THE STREET AND CLIMBING A CHAIN LINK FENCE HAPPEN ALL THE TIME?!?!?

Still a little shaky I continued on and took a right at the next light.

Back at the DMV I received my score.  I got a 90.

Me:  What did you take ten points off for?

DMV Guy:  You didn't come to a complete stop at that one stop sign.

Me:  We were being chased by what I can only assume were zombies.

DMV Guy: That was just an army of hobos.  And you still didn't stop.

I ended up getting my license and never returning to that DMV ever again.  I believe they've since turned it into a halfway house for one-legged men and zombie hobos.