Today's Moment of Awkward: Michael Pitt Is Not My Boyfriend

In 2007 I had a dream that I was dating the actor Michael Pitt.  I can actually date this dream because the movie "Funny Games" was about to come out.  In the dream Michael Pitt and I had started dating a few months before the movie's release and then when it was coming out he begged me not to go see it.  He said that in the movie he plays a sociopath and he didn't want me to see him like that, even in a movie, because it might change the way I look at him.  I tried to convince him that I knew it was just a movie and he was playing a part but he insisted.  (We were so in love back then.  Sigh.)

I never did see that movie.  And, of course, I forgot about the dream.

Then the other day I'm in Beverly Hills, and there is Michael Pitt, standing outside a sandwich shop all alone, smoking a cigarette.  And my first thought is "Shit!  My ex.  Awkward."  In the split seconds before I realize that this thought is utterly insane I avert my eyes and block my face from his view with my hand.  Now Michael Pitt is staring at me, totally confused.  Usually the celebrities are the ones blocking their faces, not random girls on the street.   I have to remind myself "Michael Pitt is not your ex-boyfriend.  You had a dream that you dated him FIVE YEARS AGO.  That is not real life.  He's just an actor who now thinks you're a total freak."  And it's true.  He did.