There are a lot of websites out there now that like to give you “Recommendations”. They take information they have about what you’ve liked in the past and try to guess what else would strike your fancy. Goodreads, a site that tracks what books you’re reading, thinks I would enjoy The Lorax, every dystopian Young Adult novel ever written, and the collected works of David Foster Wallace. I’m not sure what that says about me, but it seems bad.
But it’s nothing compared to Netflix.
For some reason Netflix is under the opinion that I am a 40-year-old single mom/serial killer. How can one person be recommended both a movie about a girl who’s vagina has teeth and a sit-com about how a fat person and a thin person really can love one another, despite their kooky family? Who is this person that Netflix thinks I am? And why is Netflix’s judgement of me leading me to judge myself?
Let’s look through the last few things I watched on Netflix Instant. One episode of Downton Abbey, three episodes of How I Met Your Mother, two episodes of Breaking Bad and the 2001 movie Bully about a bunch of teenagers that murder a bully, which, might I add, does not stand the test of time. Okay, maybe I’m starting to see the big picture. Maybe Netflix isn’t wrong about me, maybe I’m wrong about Netflix. Or rather, I’m wrong about me. Wait, what? I’m confused.
It seems I may actually be a 40-year-old single mom/serial killer. I had no idea.
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